FOG!
I had no idea this acronym existed!
I heard it the other day for the first time.
However, I am very familiar with what is stands for it!
FEAR – OBLIGATION – GUILT
I love how perfect this acronym is in terms of the meaning of the word!
Consider fog, it is a low-lying cloud form.
When we are experiencing FOG, we are clouded!
There is little clarity,
poor visibility,
no bigger picture,
& it is more challenging to move forward with confidence & ease.
Plus, it can be scary.
If you are making decisions from one of these 3 FOG standpoints,
it is an invitation to transform & make decisions from integrity & clarity.
POSITIVE CHECK IN!
Before you read on, position yourself into an objective state of CURIOSITY & LOVE,
so this can be an interesting & potentially enlightening read.
It is not an invitation to pull anyone down,
that’s won’t elevate as it is quite literally the opposite direction!
It is important to have the courage to be honest with ourselves to make actual change & I share all this with love.
We all have the power to transform, probably more than we know!
Ultimately it IS all positive because without these challenges, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to change & learn & empower ourselves beyond belief! WAHOO! :D
OK, loving deep breath, audible exhale (providing you are not in a meeting lol)!
Let’s go on with unconditional self-love & why not treat yourself to a dose of the good feeling dopamine hit that comes with learning something new!
You’re welcome! ;)
FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) highlights 3 limiting patterns of thinking, feeling & behaving.
When these emotions are out of context / AWOL, they are damaging to health.
There is no judgement here,
I used to live like this; in a state of fear!
What’s more, I am glad about that & grateful now, because experience is a real teacher!
I also work with incredible people who are focused on shifting beyond these patterns.
It’s NOT your fault (so don’t feel guilty lol!) but it is your responsibility (be empowered).
If someone you interact with frequently triggers these feelings within you, I would take that as a large red Formula 1 style flag!
Rest assured, it is inevitable that people will take advantage, because consent is given on an energetic & unspoken level…it’s a match!
These 3 emotional standpoints can persuade you that you are helping other people by being this way.
Fear-based patterns will do this…strongly, because at some point, it was wired into your survival brain that this is the way for you to stay safe.
Truth bomb: you are likely not helping people as much as you think.
Making choices from a genuine place of authenticity, enthusiasm, honesty, love (the real kind) & alignment has far more positive impact.
When FOG becomes your Modis Operandi, you are typically enabling others whilst disabling yourself, and that is different, you can feel it.
It might be, that these modes convince you that by acting through fear, guilt or obligation, that you are in fact a good person aka you are enough.
You already are!!!
You were all along!!!
But when you truly know this, you don’t need to keep proving it to others or yourself.
Doing things out of obligation is very different to taking responsibility.
It often comes with ‘should’ rather than choosing to / positively committing.
Guilt Be Gone!
Feeling guilty does not help people, it is not empowering.
It is a low frequency emotion that pours fear-based / stress hormones into the body which depletes energy, life-force & health.
Guilt has its place, like all emotions; a short burst as an invitation to course correct with no need for overthinking. The End!
When it is a frequent experience, you will have some limiting beliefs that need to be worked through.
It can manifest in different ways; one is in seeking external validation.
it is possible that you are attempting to take responsibility for other people’s emotions & circumstances.
You are NOT responsible for other people’s emotions / the way they feel…this is an almighty & impossible task to take on, that often goes wrong!
The irony here is that you are not taking responsibility for your own emotions, so you are not really in the best position to take on others.
It’s a game of projection & reflection.
Focus on emotional mastery for yourself, then be in a far stronger position to help anyone else, should you choose to do so and if others consent for your help.
Perhaps you are making decisions that don’t serve you to avoid feelings of guilt?
This is very common.
Whilst it may provide temporary relief,
there may also be a self-fulfilling prophecy / cycle & habit in development.
The feeling of guilt is avoided…..ahhhh sweet relief….until next time!
Each time, the cycle becomes more deeply entrenched in our neurology.
Limiting beliefs (this is where guilt originates from) are also affirmed & validated!
More power to them unfortunately.
Boundaries remain in a weakened state, & confidence is chipped away at.
The self-defeating energetic contract with someone else (that does not serve the highest version of themselves btw) is ALIVE & …..
….I would use the word ‘well’ to fit the bill for a common phrase,
but it would be an ironic choice given that it is not about being well aka wellbeing.
When we continually make choices that don’t serve us from emotions that remain unaddressed, we do not feel good.
Damn it! That’s just not fair is it?
When we betray our own guidance system & ignored our real feelings, we are acting from a place of not being in integrity.
Over time it can build up a subconscious festering bank of resentment & suppressed anger, martyrdom & / or victimhood.
This may eventually be expressed in an unhealthy way externally or toxify on the inside.
You may justify it by convincing yourself that you ‘did a good thing’ but if you don’t honestly feel that way, it’s a con!
When you spot this, appreciate yourself for your awareness! It takes self-esteem to be aware of your own shadow & guts to do something about it.
Ideal Matches for the Guilt Ridden:
Ok, here’s where we get a bit more into the Spiritual Intelligence realm with this topic.
Everything is energy & is a match for an energy of corresponding frequency.
Well, that’s science!
I believe there is a beautiful overlap between science & spirituality that can explain everything that exists. But that’s going off on a tangent!
So, what kind of energy would match with someone who makes decisions from FOG?
Maybe come up with your own answers at this point before you read on?
Perhaps you have a real-life situation right now that you can relate to?
Awareness is the foundation for mastery, so go you!
My examples are not exclusive or exhaustive.
Just because you may have fog to work on, doesn’t mean everyone you attract is negative!
That’s absolutely not true, I am just highlighting the more challenging catalysts!
Examples:
· Takers! People who also have a lack of boundaries (same issue, different mode).
· Manipulators. People who take advantage (consciously or not).
· Blame! This is a real kicker! The very thing you are trying to avoid, you can attract!
· Criticism. People who criticise you or put you down.
· Projection: People who cannot take responsibility for their emotions.
· Inauthenticity. People who are not being honest with you.
When decisions are made from FOG,
intuition has usually left the building so to speak!
We all have Intuition.
We all have access to this perfectly designed, accurate, powerful inbuilt guidance system & source of knowing.
Alas, for much of the time, this incredible gift remains dormant!
This is NOT our fault!
Not many people I know have been taught, trained, educated, inspired or enlightened about this.
It is one of the things I practice & love to teach!
To develop a strong connection with intuition so that it guides our life in positive ways,
takes time, energy, dedication & practise.
The most challenging aspect for many people is to learn to trust it!
It is so worth it though!
Intuition is such a gift and has far reaching positive outcomes & benefits.
Here’s the another spiritually intelligent injection – everything is happening FOR us not TO us.
Now that is an empowering perspective!
Not always easy to swallow, I know, but when we can work with this, it puts the power back with you, which is where it has always been.
What to Do Next:
If you have got this far, THANK YOU for reading my work.
I am grateful to you & would love to hear if this has resonated on any level.
There’s a lot to cover & many nuances, so I will have missed plenty.
Let’s look at a few top tips so you can put some of this learning into action if you wish.
Top Tips For Change:
I could write a book about this, but you have already been patient enough to get to this stage! So, let’s keep it simple!
It’s actually turned into an acronym! Ha ha! Let’s call it SOAR!
Perfect, because it will help you SOAR through life for sure!
1) Self-Compassion.
Please be patient & loving with yourself. This level of work is not for the faint hearted & so being kind to yourself is key & helps the healing process massively! Support yourself!
2) Observe.
This starts with you, way before you have conversations with others.
Awareness is HUGE!
Observe with CURIOSITY not judgement (can’t stress this enough)!
There is a part of you, that is greater than your thoughts & feelings.
Notice & study your behaviour, thoughts & emotions as if you are your own case study.
Make notes (I love a journal).
When you shift into observing mode, you become the Witness (I speak about this a lot).
It is your Higher Self; the most loving & wise part of you (where intuition comes from).
3) Ask Good Questions.
Good questions do not start with ‘what is wrong with me?’ for example!!
We want questions from the part of you that is open hearted & ready to listen, not judgemental. Create a safe space for yourself.
What thoughts / limiting beliefs are coming up from the ‘noise’ / lower mind?
How do I really feel (be honest!) in my body (emotions are physiological) about this situation, person, choice?
What belief might I have about myself that is not loving & not empowering? This means it is not true; it is FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real.
The key is not to head straight into solutions! That can be tempting, but it bypasses beliefs, emotions & deeper more profound discovery.
4) R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Sing it!!! Thank you Aretha!
Respect yourself for doing this work!
Honour yourself through this process, be your best cheerleader, appreciate yourself.
Nobody sustainably thrives under a cruel task master!
Remind yourself to allow thoughts & feelings to be there without judging them. I have already mentioned this, but it is so important that it warrants a reminder.
I trust that helps on some level.
When we ignore emotions, they drive our behaviour subconsciously & unconsciously.
When we start to work with them effectively, we become masters of our destiny!
Wishing you every success & happiness on your journey to FREEDOM!
It is 100% possible to transform through any of these challenges.
If you are looking for someone to work with & you think I might be the right person (your intuition will tell you!) then please get in touch for a conversation.
Good Vibes, Amanda G
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