The Karpman Triangle is a brilliant tool for all types of relationships,
& one to empower people in fields of leadership, coaching & therapy (much of my client base & my personal area of work).
I learned this theoretically when I trained with The Coaching Academy some years ago, but it is something I learned experientially in the field.
I don’t get on the drama dancefloor these days!
I learned this lesson the hard way, but I learned it well.
Even though these experiences can be difficult, I am grateful for them,
because they helped me change & grow (that is the point of life’s challenges)
and they taught me a lot about psychology & behaviour, which I find fascinating.
I believe the key part of going through difficult experiences is in keeping an open-heart (or you might call it proper healing).
There’s a fine line between developing inner strength without become hardened to life.
Establishing healthy boundaries is not the same as building walls around the heart.
The latter keeps people trapped in the drama triangle, albeit potentially in more subtle ways.
When we have reclaimed & integrated the disowned parts of our psyche that become entangled in those games, we are no longer an energetic match to the patterns.
We simply don’t attract the drama because we operate at an empowered level.
This is liberating & opens the doors of opportunity to a far better existence.
Another key aspect of this journey is discernment.
For truly effective discernment, we need to be able to understand & observe our own patterns & the deeper subconscious drivers beneath them (my speciality).
This can be challenging work, but it is worth having the courage to do it.
In fact, the truth is, this work is a journey of self-love & when we have that, we can help people on an entirely new and empowered level!
OK, let’s have a look at the 3 states.
These 3 states can exist independently or interchangeably.
I would recommend reading up on it to know more if this has piqued your interest.
I am not going to explain what has been best explained in the original material,
but I will share some of my own insights.
All 3 states are clearly disempowered ones – otherwise there is no drama!
They are driven by fear & they stem from survival patterns (wounds to be healed).
Persecutor.
The Persecutor (or Bully) may seem to be in a dominant position of power,
but the need to appear dominant or superior is rooted in an inferiority complex.
A lion doesn’t need to go to great lengths to prove to everyone that it is a lion!
The Persecutor projects their unhealed pain & fear onto another target.
Rescuer.
The Rescuer (or Fixer) doesn’t believe in the power of the individual they are trying to help which affirms the victim status in the other.
They unconsciously observe their own unhealed emotions being reflected to them via the other person (the mirror).
They attempt to ‘heal or help’ the person instead of doing the inner work for themselves.
They take responsibility for the emotions of other people which is a messy business of enmeshment.
Victim.
It is worth remembering that this archetype is one of the 4 archetypes said to exist in us all at some level from ‘it’s not fair’ onwards.
The Victim is connected to helplessness.
This state projects their disowned power onto external sources.
This may include making excuses & / or blaming other people or circumstances.
Transformation.
It may sound bizarre, but these states can be gifts in disguise!
Transforming beyond these patterns is life-changing & it can be your mission if you choose to accept it.
When we recognise the patterns that exist within us on some level, we have awareness which is the first & most important stage of change.
There is an open-heart on the other side of these stories which can bring so much positive change to the world.
It can be a transformation that invites wisdom, self-love, compassion & insight for a far more joyful, fulfilling and well lived life of freedom and authentic connection.
Remain out of judgment, nobody is the finished article, we all have work to do.
Judgement keeps us stuck in the spiral of doom!
It is kinder & more helpful to remain curious & compassionate, then we can really help ourselves & others.
I hope this serves someone somewhere.
I shall write a post on empowering states soon to address the balance here as the other side of this story is AWESOME!
Might you be interested to read that…?
Good Vibes, Amanda G
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